Sleeping Valor

Mt brain's a little slow, so if you want the grammar nit-pick job PM me and I'll get to it sometime soon-ish. I like your story...or rather your character. What ...

I'll have to...agree with the others, you need to flesh up your story. I get the impression this isn't all there is, or maybe I just can't see the relation ...

The clock strikes midnight, and he doesn’t seem to care or notice. Unless it prompted him to do what he did next. I've read this through part way and noticed ...

lol. So I just saw the bulleting thingy you put on, no clue how you did it though. =P But as requested, here I am! I'm going to leave the ...

^_^ Since you've been reading mine I thought I'd read yours. Comments on the overall story are at the end. In a valley that only the gifted could see was ...

She fold ed her arms closely across her chest, shivers running down her spine. Teeth chattering, she slowly walked down the hallway, her green dress brushing gently across her ankles ...

^_^ I seem to have first comment yet again. I didn't see too many errors (in fact I don't remember any as the moment), unless we're stalking phrase structure in ...

Cool. Very cool. He still stood at the doorway, the door he had slammed in her face , now the only thing he saw through his confused eyes. Everything was ...

^_^ Much much better. Still quite interesting too. =P So looks like I skipped commenting on 3, it was good as well though. My mind is kind of blank lately, ...

The most important city in the United States of America (at the time spoken of here) was named Conscilia, in Texas. Brackets? No. It makes you look like you couldn't ...

Interesting story. There isn't really enough here for me to give a true critique, but it definitely looked good. I am curious to see why this man needs the chocolat. ...

I was prepared not to like it....but I did. =P So much I was too busy reading to notice ways of helping you make it better, so unless you'd like ...

“Mommy, why did you have to wake me up?” she whined and looked around and saw that a bunch of cabbage leaves were lying in their burrow. Two 'and's in ...

I liked it. It's a nice, quick, fun read that still has enough of a hook to make you wonder what happens next. I'd keep working on it if it ...

LOL. I was thinking I will comment here as well since something has just occured to me: This reads like a drama. That may of course be your intention but ...